Now, it just aches to have him gone. He reports the same feeling. It's exhausting to be without him to co-parent these kids.
This week, I have had to work more hours due to situations at work. I have had to do two major projects for my current class in the midst of this. I am stressed and exhausted. More importantly, when I put down the schoolwork tonight, I realized I haven't spent nearly enough time being MOMMY in all of this.....and I have to work tomorrow.
I am determined to love on my babies on their way to school tomorrow, and tomorrow night when I get home. I wish there were more of me and I could do more. The truth is that I realized in those nine months I was solo and finishing my last degree, I am not a good single mother to this many children. These children thrive with both II and I. I am so eternally grateful that we both got our shit together so these kids have both of us still actively engaged in their lives. I would like to believe we would do that even if we hadn't made it. I'm just glad we did and they get the benefit of both of us...every day....except when one of us is out of town.
Thankfully, I turned in the last large project for this class. I finished my last paper for the month. I got chores accomplished, and have successfully fed the children. When II comes home, I am hoping to sleep. I don't really care if I do less. I just want to sleep. I will just be glad to be back to a parenting team again.
I miss my husband.