Everything changes

So, the potential job interview last week sent me for a tailspin. The mere thought of doing what I do every day for minimum wage sent me into tears. I cried out to the Lord was there really NO way I could salvage my nursing training and credentials? I've been practicing Pediatric Nursing in my home for YEARS. I actually sat down and calculated the level of direct nursing care I provide in a given week and added up 50+ hours. That's not counting that last week I was managing a case of Gatroenteritis so severe no one was sure the baby wasn't going to end up in the hospital or not until he finally, dramatically turned the corner one night. AND, I'm currently managing a third degree burn situation on E. She's got skin grafts, a new one for me this time, and requires every other day dressing changes, as well as assessment of her burns to make sure its all healing properly. Some of the things I do, any mother would be able to do. Some of the things I do, doctors only permit me to do because they KNOW I'm a nurse. I've tried to hide it before. For some reason, I can't hide it very well. Ten minutes speaking with a new doctor and they insist upon knowing my background.

When we moved to this current state five years ago, I made a decision to let my RN licensure lapse. I regretted it almost immediately but there was little I could do to reverse it. At the time, gaining licensure in this state was a simple process if I wanted to renew my licensure, so I contented myself with knowing I could get it all back if I wanted it.

Three years ago, this state changed their laws and it appeared I lost it irretrievably at that point. For the last three years, I have looked at this equation from EVERY angle I could think of. Even as recently as June, I was in communication with the Director of Nursing at my U to see if there were some way to save all of this.

Its a long, complicated, beaucratic explanation to the situation. However, when I got the call for this job interview, I looked at this equation one LAST time...from a new angle. And, suddenly, what was impossible became quite possible.

In fact, by Thanksgiving, I will legally be a RN again, in the state I went to nursing school, not the state I currently reside in. However, once I renew that licensure, there IS a process to transfer my licensure to this state. It involves taking a nursing refresher course. But, its 3 months I'll gladly give for the opportunity to have my degree and credentials restored.

In restoring my training, it clears the path for the medical practitioner balance I thought I lost. I went to nursing school with a specific goal in mind. I was going to work my way through my Bachelors, work for a year and then obtain my Nurse Practitioner degree.

I guess if I had known about Oestopathic medicine way back when, I would have opted to go that route. At the time, I didn't. I knew medical school and I knew the nursing model of medicine. I felt nursing was a more holistic and naturally minded approach to medicine. Its still a holistic approach to medicine. And, its an approach that would all me to practice but balance the needs of my children.

I have an appointment with a nursing advisor at my University next Thursday. I've been communication with the only refresher course offered in the state. I can do my practical work online. I just need to find a local preceptor to do my clinical work under. I'm hopeful if the refresher course doesn't have those connections locally then the University Department will.

With any luck, I can have my licensure free in order to start my RN-BSN this summer, which would allow me to have my Bachelors completed at the same time I would have a Bachelor's in Sociology finished. I would work the first year of II's medical school to get in-state residency and then going full-time for either my MSN or DNP.

Now begins the soul searching again. Masters or doctorate? Family Practice, Pediatric or.........Nurse Midwifery.....

I'm thinking DNP is its an option, though I would settle for MSN at first so long as everyone understands that its a stopping point towards my DNP. My initial thought is not Family Nurse Practice. That leaves Pediatrics or Midwifery. There was a time and place that would have been no contest. I was young and idealistic back then, I'm cautious about midwifery now out of concern for what that would mean for my family....and the knowledge that I could LOVE Pediatrics.