Friday, March 26, 2010


I got a blackberry this week. I've decided I am going to Physician's Assistant school and every single one that I have looked at has a requirement for a smartphone of some sort. While I used my very old upgrade on a whim because II ticked me off by saying I didn't need a smartphone, I also decided I need to learn to use one of these before I am actually required to use it for school.

What I have discovered is that with a full keyboard on my phone, this texting thing that II and A prefer to use constantly is actually...a breeze.

What is particularly fun? Naughty texts. I know that II employed sexting with his affairs. I know its a pretty common media that is used when a spouse cheats on their partner. I certainly didn't set out to try and understand what he did, not by a long shot. Texting is merely easy than trying to talk when someone is screaming, or I know he's in a computer lab programming or studying on campus. I can toss it down and come back after I change a poopy diaper, and yet I can still converse with II.

It just so happens that I let the texting go...down a very intimate path. I actually think I started it, honestly. Innuendo and banter has always been part of our relationship. Its been part of our texting in the past, but I could never text well because I had no keyboard and it was frustrating.

We've always sought ways to maintain intimacy over the heads of the children. We've one by one lost our ability to talk over their heads over the last deacade. It so happens that texting gives us back that ability. Its private again, and we can say it in the room with the kids again.

And so we have. And, its....AMAZING. I get why people would seek this out. Really, I do. Its thrilling. Its risque. Its fun. And yet...I'm sexting my husband. I'm creating intimacy between us that strengthens us. And, right now when looking at him honestly carries a lot of pain sometimes, I've discovered that I can touch his soul without fear of the flame burning for a moment in time. I've got a teenager, so like a smart parent I'm already on an unlimited texting plan. So, I'm not going to face a thousand dollar phone bill. I'm not taking away from my marriage.

I get the appeal of the behavior now. I really and honestly do. But, I'm not about to engage in this behavior with someone other than this man. He's my husband. He's who I am supposed to be intimacy and racy and risque with. Maybe more people who have sexted someone else should keep in mind that they are in fact making a connection with someone on the other end of that phone. If you shouldn't be making that kind of connection, then you need to back away and put the cell phone down.

1 comment:

  1. I laughed out loud! I just recently got a new phone with a real keyboard, too. you're giving me ideas. ;)