Showers of blessings

We knew all along that in this 18 months of abject poverty, this summer was going to be the absolute lowest point, especially July and early August. The other truly low point is going to be end of October through end of January. While I truly fear how low that next point is going to be, having depleted all our reserves and floated on air for a year when we get there, this low point has been tremendously overwhelming as well.

Three weeks ago, I discovered to my horror that E has had a growth spurt, and not a little one either. When we moved, she wore a girls 10/12. First of May, she was complaining because she had no clothes for school. I discovered that she was now a size 14-16 in girls. No wonder none of her clothes fit her anymore. I went to Goodwill, spent $60 and purchased her an entire wardrobe in her size. First...of...May.

First of July, she was wearning her brother's cast off athletic clothes. For a girly-girl who adores ballet, the emotional blow of having to wear her brother's athletic gear was devestating. That was when I realized that she no longer fit into her clothes again. A quick check with a measuring tape and I discovered that my little girl is now a size 2-4 in JUNIORS with size 7 shoes.

I had no money for clothes. She had nothing that fit her. I had no idea what to do. So, with tremendous agony in my heart, I asked for help.

And since that point, the blessings have showered upon us.

My dear friends answered my plea to help my little girl in ways I never imagined. Four friends sent her boxes of wonderful clothes that fit her. Another friend sent her brand new pink Nike sneakers in her size. Yet another friend purchased her $50 of brand-new clothes from Old Navy. One other loving friend sent E $50 to spend on clothes herself. E then went to her aunt's house for a weekend. While there, her aunt and her cousin outfitted her with everything else she could possibly need for fall and winter school.

I can honestly say that the love poured upon this little girl, combined with a new change in her medications, has brought her FINALLY into a place of stability. She has not been stable in nearly a year. Today she is happy, stable, loving and acts like a normal pre-teen girl. She gets up every morning excited to have beautiful, girly clothes to wear. She has all of her things organized and is exceedingly impatient for school to start now that she's ready to face middle school on two strong and brave little feet underneath her.

If that were the only blessing given to us, it would have carried me through this summer. Amazingly, its not.

Three weeks ago, we recieved an annonymous money order for $500. I have no idea where it came from. However, since it was unbudgetted and unexpected money, we used $200 for bills. Then, I took the rest and purchased a trampoline and safety net at Walmart. The trampoline is safely hidden under lock and key. No matter what this fall brings, the children will have one larger than life present under the tree for Christmas. That much I am now sure about.

Yet again, this was not all of the blessings we have recieved. Two weeks ago, a friend asked me for my address. She then sent me a money order for $40, just to bless me, no other reason.

I will admit right here and right now that I blessed my babies with some of that gift. II went and purchased chocolate bars, something we have not let the kids have since we moved and started living this stressful and careful life. He bought several packages of different varieties. Then, we let them each choose 3 snack size chocolate bars for themselves.

And, still that is not all the blessings we have received.

After 19 months of steadfastly refusing to consider going to church, I finally caved and agreed to let II test a new church this weekend. II took E and R and went to the service. He and E had tried it several months ago but I wasn’t ready to even consider going back to church at that point, so I didn’t really care what their opinion was at that point in time.

While there, II stopped and talked to the lead minister regarding whether the church could handle our attending with an autistic son.

I honestly do not know what was said between the minister and II. However, yesterday, I received something that I have never seen before. We received a handwritten note from the minister again reassuring us that the church is willing and able to handle M, that they hope we consider bringing the family, and that he wanted us to feel blessed. He sent a gift card for a car wash. II loves the car wash, and hasn’t used it since we moved here. If God intended to touch II’s heart and help him feel loved and blessed, a car wash is the perfect blessing to speak to II. Sunday, we will brave attending church with our entire family. I might regret it, but I’m willing to try.

Last week, Ch was wild in the house. Nothing new about that, he’s always wild in the house. He went lunging over the kitchen island to tackle A….and shattered my French Press. This was the second time this year he has done this, and I was simply devastated. I cannot afford to replace my French Press, and I cannot justify even trying given our current financial situation. For 48 hours, I simply cried. I knew of nothing else to do.

And then a friend contacted me. She had a French press she has only used twice in two years and wanted to bless me with it. She mailed it. Then, another friend contacted me. She too had an unused French Press. I told her someone had already gifted me with one. She’s mailing it anyway. She feels I might need a spare French press, given Ch’s track record.

Several days ago, II and I sat down to try and contemplate how on earth we’re going to accomplish anything else for the children’s Christmas beyond that trampoline. There is simply NO funds available. And, while I can work miracles with small amounts of funds, I can do nothing without any funds. I made the hard decision to sell the wool pants I had crocheted baby J with my own hands. They were meant to be used with cloth diapers, and I don’t use that type of cloth diapers anymore. More importantly, they are valuable. It thought I could possibly raise $400 with those pants, and with that kind of money I could provide some semblance of Christmas for the children.
To date, I’ve sold $200 of those pants. I still have more to sell, but I also have time to wait. I’m nearly giddy to know that my sacrifice is going to mean my children feel like life is normal and Christmas is still magical, even in the year where we have nothing.

Today, one more blessing came. Another friend contacted me. She wanted to know my Paypal address. She has read my block, followed my story, and wanted to bless me. She’s aware that II’s boss has been dragging his feet at paying II for three weeks now, that we’re nearing the point where we’re going to be in trouble for our August rent if we don’t get II’s paycheck for July, and the boss continues to tell him one story after another and never follow through on each and every promise to finally pay II for his work.

This friend instructed me that if it comes to time for the rent and we don’t have that paycheck, then use the funds she wanted to send me to help cover the rent. If we didn’t need it for the rent, then use it to feel blessed and to touch our lives.

Truthfully, I thought a little money. I thought something small, still wonderful and touching, totally unexpected and totally appreciated. I was shaking when I got notification that she sent $550. I asked her if she meant to send that much. Surely, SURELY she didn’t mean to send that much.

She did mean to send that much. And, if II’s boss actually pays him, then I have permission to use this money as I want to. If I don’t need it for the rent, the bulk of this gift is going to Christmas. Between what I’ve raised with selling things, and this gift, I can make a HUGE difference for the children for Christmas.

We make it through another month. And, this month, in our lowest point thus far financially, God has showered us with blessings. It reminds me that I’m not alone. I may feel like it, but I’m not alone.